Parenting Styles

Posted on: February 25th, 2014 by raisingteenageboys No Comments

It is usual for parents to have various values, methods, and styles of parenting.

This is normal, where in the typical relationship mum is the soft one and dad is the tough one. This can work well if you've an understanding and acceptance of this as complementary.

I know that my children worked that one out and will ask their mum more often than they did me. We talked about this and it was certainly a good exercise for us to try the other method sometimes.

It is not all black and white but it is healthy for me to pause and be sure of the best approach. As I seem to have a default “no” ready and waiting there are times when I must ask for some time to think about my answer and will usually find a “yes” lurking in there somewhere if that is appropriate.
 
Likewise, for my wife, she was asked to step into the “no” camp more than was natural for her. We needed to talk about important topics and if one of us has stronger feelings about it, the other would yield and support.
 
Being on the same page is not always this easy and requires careful negotiation.

Arguing about parenting in front of the children will not work as they'll feel less secure about the process and can become cunning in how to get what they want.

A united front is better than vague boundaries that move about depending on what the emotional climate in the house is at any particular moment. United we stand and divided we fall works far better when you are clear (and confident) about the reasons for adopting and defending your position.

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